So I bought this blue spotted egg from an Arabian priest on the side of the road who told me it would bring me good luck. Yeah right!! On second inspection, I’m pretty sure he was a homeless Asian with what looked like a dead camel, nevertheless he gave me a funny feeling so I just pulled my wallet out and paid him for the blue painted egg. Hey, it only cost me 5 bucks.
That night, a strange noise woke me and I realised something was hatching from this blue egg.
Exciting!
Minutes later I was the surprised owner of what appeared to be a blue baby dragon!
Well, I wasn’t ready to be a father of a 20 foot flying, man eating reptilian machine, and couldn’t figure the legal ramifications of having half the city burnt to toast by Squido. So off I went back to the street of the priest, only to find a flea infested, drooling dead-looking camel out on the sidewalk and no priest in sight.
After careful consideration and proper planning I stumbled onto a possible solution. I had to put Squido on a daily assortment of anti-depressants and teach him to be calm and at peace with the world to avoid future problems. I suppose I never said it was a good plan!
After studying the art of some local potheads (mostly my friends), shaolin monks on Discovery and a bunch of filthy hippies I found at the local park, I developed a new programme I like to call “Rahomi peace”. It was the combined art of getting as high as you possibly can and then meditating while listening to rave music. Well Squido followed my instructions clearly almost like he was made for it. Squido was my top and only student of the Rahomi art and he also became my best friend. After no time at all Squido was so at peace that he started his own Zen garden and wrote a book on Rahomi peace – the journey within.
Squido grew so quickly and I was bursting with pride. Soon it became apparent that I was not going to be able to sustain his drug addiction and that I had to start planting my own selection of chill out stash in his Zen garden for him.
Jumping ahead in my sorry tale, we got busted by the police. Squido ate half the city after withdrawal and opened a rave club filled with strung out hippy reptiles spinning the decks and busting frantic moves to 2 unlimited – let’s face it, nobody’s going to mess with a blue dragon.
So at the end of the day when what’s done is done, keeping hindsight and morality in mind I have come to realise that…Rahomi peace don’t work!
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